So, I was scheduled to fly out today (out of the country). I had my flight leaving Washington, Dulles Airport at 5:05 PM and running a connection through New York (JFK).

It hit 5 PM and they announced that our plane had not even left it’s other destination yet, but that it would come (don’t worry everyone).

Then, at 6 PM, they suddenly just canceled the flight! My connecting flight was at 8:55 PM and this left me little room to do anything.

All the passengers got in the herendous line to get help from the rediculously mean women at the counter. I had two options:

1. Follow suit and get in line and pray for the best.

2. Take things into my own hands and CALL Delta.

I did the latter and although it took me a good 30 minutes on the phone, we came to an agreeable alternate solution (which has me leaving tomorrow). However, there were many times that the call tested my patience. As nice as the woman was on the phone, some of her rediculously imposed red-tape was seriously starting to pi** me off!

“But I Kept My Cool…I Kept On Smiling…”

I almost lost my cool, but I made a conscious decision not to. I was watching what was happening down the line from people who were flaring their arms around and acting like monkeys.

They were getting the same rudness in return and ended up with results they were not happy with.

I, however, kept asking the attendent on the phone to place herself in my shoes and to be fair. The more I talked to her as a PERSON and REASONED, the further I got to getting a desirable result!

In the end, I got a great outcome and was very happy with it.

Then It Happened Again!

As I got home, I had to call the hotel and change my reservation and I already knew that they were going to try to charge me the day because I was within 24 hours. However, IT WASN’T MY FAULT!

Plus, I had extended my stay by one more day, so they were still going to get the same number of nights from me. When I called, the initial reaction was the same “no sir, we have to charge.”

I immediately asked for the supervisor (very nicely) and I made my case. However, STILL they didn’t listen!

Again, about to lose my cool to people who are being unreasonable, but then I remembered…

I realized that I could just call the corporate office and reason with them given my high points with them. So, that’s what I did. The representative was GREAT. She immediately called the hotel on my behalf and argued my case.

Eventually, the entire matter got handled and I have to pay nothing.

===============================

Here’s what I learned…

I’ve watched my own father handle these situations and he’s a firm believer in “ATTACK hard and you get your way…” - Many times I’ve felt that he’s too fast to yell, shout and throw around threats, I’m starting to think that I may be right.

Given that I run my own business, lately I’ve actually been LESS likely to help someone if they call kicking and screaming then someone who calls reasoning with me on logic and nicely asking for HELP.

My Advice To You Is This - Don’t be that guy in line who was flaring his arms around and shouting - it won’t get you what you want. Take a deep breath, nicely ask for help and reason by asking the other person to place themselves in your shoes (while also placing YOURSELF in their shoes so they know it’s a two way street).

Popularity: 11% [?]

What you learn today: The structure to follow to peacefully and powerfully resolve a conflict.

=========================================

Yesterday I got a call from someone who works with me letting me know that I was going to have to step in as an “authority” on a call to help resolve a disagreement that was fast turning ugly. Here’s what the problem was for me, on a personal level, I’m friends with everyone involved.

Either side I take, I risk fighting with those I respect and like.

However, at the same time, I felt strongly about one side (professionally) and had no choice but to “take a side” and represent it.

For hours I thought about how to proceed so as to have the best consequence and my mind kept running through scenarios that all resulted in a big blow up - needless to say I was a bit nervous and apprehensive.

However, I realized one thing: A leader needs to be able to peacefully resolve conflicts, a leader needs to make sure all voices are heard, but also a leader needs to be able to stand strong and make a decision (even if everyone does not like it).

An indecisive leader is not only ineffective but will never have anyone’s respect.

Resorting To “Active Listening” - My Version of It…

I made a decision to handle the call in the following format:

1. Start by saying that I was there to hear all sides.
2. Summarize the concerns as “I” know them and ask the other party to confirm.
3. Ask the other party to spend some time to voice details of their concern.
4. Summarize what I heard.
5. State my side (without being combative or pointing fingers) - I would make it very clear that I was speaking my mind openly and meant no disrespect.
6. Give time for rebuttal or further concerns.
7. Explain my position one last time.
8. State how I would be moving forward.
9. Thank everyone for their time.

–> Through this entire call, I was very good about consistently reminding all parties that this was a PROFESSIONAL disagreement and was NOT personal and so nothing said should be taken personally.

I think it’s easier said than done, but the end result was fairly impressive and although we didn’t walk away “loving” each other, I do think it was fairly cordial and we’ll all get over it soon enough and that it was for the best in the long-run.

Did I Follow My Outline During The ACTUAL Call?

With the exception of a few distractions, I was very shocked that I really DID follow the outline above and it worked amazingly.

The best part about the outline above is that it makes the opposing party feel that you really ARE hearing them and are trying to work with them. However, at the same time, the outline above allows YOU to take and stay in control of the dispute and the eventual resolution.

I highly recommend that you study the outline above and implement it into ALL conflict resolutions.

Popularity: 11% [?]