The Outline I Used To Resolve a Conflict…
What you learn today: The structure to follow to peacefully and powerfully resolve a conflict.
=========================================
Yesterday I got a call from someone who works with me letting me know that I was going to have to step in as an “authority” on a call to help resolve a disagreement that was fast turning ugly. Here’s what the problem was for me, on a personal level, I’m friends with everyone involved.
Either side I take, I risk fighting with those I respect and like.
However, at the same time, I felt strongly about one side (professionally) and had no choice but to “take a side” and represent it.
For hours I thought about how to proceed so as to have the best consequence and my mind kept running through scenarios that all resulted in a big blow up – needless to say I was a bit nervous and apprehensive.
However, I realized one thing: A leader needs to be able to peacefully resolve conflicts, a leader needs to make sure all voices are heard, but also a leader needs to be able to stand strong and make a decision (even if everyone does not like it).
An indecisive leader is not only ineffective but will never have anyone’s respect.
Resorting To “Active Listening” – My Version of It…
I made a decision to handle the call in the following format:
1. Start by saying that I was there to hear all sides.
2. Summarize the concerns as “I” know them and ask the other party to confirm.
3. Ask the other party to spend some time to voice details of their concern.
4. Summarize what I heard.
5. State my side (without being combative or pointing fingers) – I would make it very clear that I was speaking my mind openly and meant no disrespect.
6. Give time for rebuttal or further concerns.
7. Explain my position one last time.
8. State how I would be moving forward.
9. Thank everyone for their time.
–> Through this entire call, I was very good about consistently reminding all parties that this was a PROFESSIONAL disagreement and was NOT personal and so nothing said should be taken personally.
I think it’s easier said than done, but the end result was fairly impressive and although we didn’t walk away “loving” each other, I do think it was fairly cordial and we’ll all get over it soon enough and that it was for the best in the long-run.
Did I Follow My Outline During The ACTUAL Call?
With the exception of a few distractions, I was very shocked that I really DID follow the outline above and it worked amazingly.
The best part about the outline above is that it makes the opposing party feel that you really ARE hearing them and are trying to work with them. However, at the same time, the outline above allows YOU to take and stay in control of the dispute and the eventual resolution.
I highly recommend that you study the outline above and implement it into ALL conflict resolutions.
Popularity: 4% [?]
Tags: conflict resolution, disagreement
