I credit a lot of my success to mentors. Since I’ve revealed this on stage, the #1 question I get is:

“How Do I Find a Mentor?”

Ironically, it’s a tough question for me to answer, but I’m going to try.

Let’s first understand what a mentor is.

A mentor is not someone who teaches you everything about everything. Usually I have more than one mentor at a time. I currently have more than 3 just in the world of business.

A mentor is someone who has “been there and done that.” They know the ropes and are willing to guide you. They are your lead advisor.

Here are some ground-rules when it comes to finding a mentor:

1. Do not PAY for the mentor. Anyone you are paying is likely not truly a mentor.
If you pay them, do it be because YOU want to. If they have an up-front fee - forget about it.

2. It is OK to surpass your mentor.
I have surpassed many of those who taught me in the past. It’s not offensive, it means they did a great job.

Luckily, my mentors today are way ahead of me so I have some running to do.

3. Find a mentor for your specific situation.
Just because you already have a “business mentor” does not mean you cannot get another one in a more specific role.

My example/

I am currently looking to write a book. My mentor has not written one before. So, what did I do?

I found someone who has, he has written many. He is well connected and cares about my success.

(We already had our first consultation call and no, he did not charge me nor ask for any money).

4. You need a personal relationship.
Don’t go around asking people to “be my mentor.” That’s not how it works. A mentor comes out more naturally. You need a personal relationship with them.

A great mentor becomes a great friend and even a part of the family. They have to do it for the pure joy of teaching - no other side-benefit.

5. Mentoring relationships GROW…
Again, you don’t walk in, sign a contract and walk out with a mentor. Mentorship is not a business deal, it’s a relationship.

My best mentors “just happened.” A better way of saying that is that they started off slowly and as our relationship grew, so did the amount of advice.

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The Mentors In My Life
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My Parents - Had it not been for the great discipline my father instilled, I would not be who I am today. He stressed education and forced me to always be ahead.

I am who I am today because of my parents.

Copywriter - I learned copywriting and the essence of selling through words from a very popular and generous man.

Not only did I not pay him - he paid ME for the work I did for him. I am forever grateful to him.

Salesmanship & Business - An amazing man who I happened to re-connect with a few days ago! He taught me how to speak on stage, sell a customer and built my confidence.

He was the main reason I had the guts to leave my pre-medical studies and enter business.

Big Business - After graduating from College, I connected with a brilliant and wise man (only old enough to be my brother)! He has expanded my vision and taught me how to run a “big business.”

He’s become a great friend, part of my family and a trusted confidant.

Top Selling Author - As of today, my mentor helping me write my first book.

** There have been many others along the way, the above are the ones that made the biggest impact on my life.

How Did I Find Each of These?

Copywriter - Connected through a random friend. He was impressed with my work online and offered me a part-time virtual (work at home) job.

I earned 3 times my friends and learned 100 times as much.

He started as a boss and quickly became a mentor.

Salesmanship & Business - I joined a company as a Financial Planner at 18 and he was my Marketing Director.

In this case he was “forced” to forge a relationship with me. I was awed with his success and knowledge. He and I became friends immediately and slowly I began turning to him for all of life’s advice.

Big Business - He was my professor in Entrepreneurship 101. Luck would have it, he was also the Director of a business incubator program I got admitted to.

Again, he was “assigned” to help me by the University. However, our relationship went way beyond the 9 to 5 day. He soon saw potential in me and found great joy in helping me.

Top Selling Author - He fell into this role as a friend. He and I travel in the same business circles for the last three years.

I needed help and he offered. One day, he may need help and I’ll be there for him.

The Steps To Finding a Mentor:

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Step 1 - Build Relationships
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Be in as many places as you can be and BUILD RELATIONSHIPS. Treat everyone as if they can teach you something (because they really can).

Treat everyone as a potential mentor, the right one will emerge automatically.

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Step 2 - Ask Questions
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I have news; you don’t know it all. Actually, you barely know anything.

The best thing you can do is admit that today - your rate of growth will go up exponentially.

The good news is that you don’t NEED to know it all or anything at all for that matter. Use your network. Ask questions.

The more questions you ask, the more answers you will get. Watch who answers your questions and look for patterns - your mentor emerges before you.

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Step 3 - Give Back
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Never take, take, take. Learn about your mentor and show respect. Give back to them (any way you can) and show them you appreciate them.

This is where the relationship building takes off.

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Step 4 - Show Results
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The quickest way to lose a mentor is to never listen.

If you ask, ask, ask and never implement their guidance - you’re 2 skips away from losing them.

The biggest reward a mentor can have is to see their student succeed after implementing their advice.

Never ask the same question twice!

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In Summary
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Finding a mentor is a process, not an over-night practice. It’s not easy, but that is what makes it worth it.

Get out there, build relationships, ask questions and give back. Every day you do this, you’re 10 steps closer to finding your perfect mentor.

But, remember, mentors are useless if you are not ready to take action. So, really, making sure you’re ready should be step 1.

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Tags: how to find a mentor, how to work with a mentor, mentorship

This entry was posted on Friday, April 17th, 2009 at 4:43 pm and is filed under Personal Growth, success. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.