We were chatting about how he should approach certain problems and he made a statement that made me think…

I was giving him some “sneaky” advice about how to talk to people and well…get them to do what YOU want.

His response:

“But I don’t want to be manipulative…”

hmm…”Is that what I am?” - Time for a “self-check” - one of those moments where you wonder “Have I gone from good to evil some where along the way?”

Let me give you some background about why I felt this way…

I checked the definition of the word “manipulation” and I actually found two completely contradictory definitions in the dictionary right next to each other.

Here are the two definitions:

Skillful or artful management.

and…

Shrewd or devious management, especially for one’s own advantage.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but they seem to be the exact opposite. One seems to be a compliment and the other seems to be slanderous.

My personal opinion is that “manipulation” has been taken the wrong way - but it does sound like a negative word. So, after lots of thinking I realized that “No, I’m not evil, I’m not really manipulating anyone…I’m INFLUENCING them…”

Using Your Manipulative Powers For GOOD….

Here’s the blatant truth whether you like it or not. All good leaders, political, CEOs, religious (you name it) are INCREDIBLY manipulative - they know how to get what they want from a MASS of people.

But, here’s what differentiates between good and evil…

Are they using it for GOOD or for BAD?

If you’re using it for good then let’s call it INFLUENCING and not manipulation…

Bottom Line, 99% of People Are Followers…

Here is the next blatant truth for you: most people are followers, not leaders. We’re taught to be that way from birth. Even religions are built with hierarchy - you are to FOLLOW…

So…because of this, if you want to be a leader, you have no choice but to learn how to influence.

A good leader has to motivate and get the mass to do what he/she feels is the best to do.

Leaders Get Inside Heads…

Bottom line, you need to be able to get into the heads of others, lower their red flags, gain their trust and then lead them in a direction.

The powers of influence can be enormous, use them wisely and use them only for good - but you have to use them.

In the coming weeks, I’ll share some of my *sneaky* techniques here, they already did wonders for my friend (from what I’m hearing)…

(I have a shameless plug in there for IwillFight.com)

Part 2:

Enjoy!

I’ll message everyone again soon with some more fighting goodies.

So, here’s a fun question, leave your answer in the comment below (it won’t kill you!)

What’s the longest flight you’ve ever taken?

I’m leaving for my own version of “Tour Asia” on Tuesday - getting pretty excited about it!

I start in Hong Kong (1 day), then to Malaysia, Singapore and land up in Mumbai (best city in the world).

Yes, it’s for work, but who says I’m not taking some down-time during it

Just a few days after I return to DC, I’m on my way to Los Angeles for our own conference (the one and only we have hosted this year).

Well, anyways, my flight on Tuesday from DC to first major stop in Asia is a whopping 40 hours (including layovers). What the holy begeezes.

The longest I have ever done before this is 22 hours to India.

What about you?

Here’s what he said (right on this blog, here…):

“…I think you did great by boldly accepting that things did go wrong and offering huge bonuses. I can’t even imagine how freaky the situation might have been considering it was a mega launch and the expectations were high.”

Abhijeet was commenting on a post where I discussed a massive failure we had during the biggest product launch of the company’s history. It was a huge nuclear meltdown after months of work and THOUSANDS of people anticipating…

Here’s what happened…

We planned for a long time and had set to launch a product on Day X and Time Y. Everything was perfect. The pre-launch buzz was HUGE, people were running, stampeding and tripping over each other to get into the course.

We had TONS of promotional partners & an amazing product.

Now, in this industry, we’re used to seeing servers MELT the minute a product is launched. It’s happened to 80% of launches for years (no joke) - so you’d think we would learn, right?

Well, our company spent close to $12,000 preparing and getting a crazy server set-up.

Yet…the minute we launched - KA BOOM! it all exploded and eggs were thrown in our faces.

Now, instead of the biggest launch in history, we had…

-> Irrate customers
-> Support e-mails/calls flying in
-> UPSET promotional partners
-> Overloaded/Under-slept team members

You name it…we had it…

So we’re embarrassed, scared, shocked and darn right humiliated…what now?

Well, we chose to go down the route of HONESTY. Rather than make up some “gimmicky” message saying, “Oh, we’re so awesome, we had so much traffic, it all exploded” - no…that was not the truth. Yes, we had tons of traffic, but THAT’s not why we exploded.

We wanted to take the high ground.

We sucked it up and immediately apologized.

I made a video for the promotional partners, I let the customers know and we just worked on getting the system back up.

…When finally up - it was time to make it up to everyone.

Now, we sat down and thought “what can we do that will blow everyone away and really make them happy with us again…”

Yes, this was going to mean taking money OUT of OUR pockets - but you know what? WE screwed up and we needed to make it up to everyone who’s time was wasted.

So, we did it.

The end result?

Believe it or not, but we are actually MORE respected in the industry for it. Almost a “blessing in disguise” - I said ALMOST.

====================

Lesson of the day: Sometimes you need to turn the salesman off. Accept what happened, stick your tail between your legs and own up to it. Be HONEST.

You’ll be surprised how far honesty with others can take you. Most humans, by nature, are incredibly forgiving - all you have to do is ask for their forgiveness.

Of course I’m only kidding, I only spent a few hours there

But it does bring up an interesting question - why was I down there to begin with?

Here’s what’s been going on the last couple of months…

We had an ENORMOUS product launch, the biggest in our company’s history and to say “we had some problems along the way” would be an understatement!

We launched a huge brand new eLearning system and well, it crashed. We also brought in over 6,200 customers so you can imagine - every time someone so much as “farted” inside the system, we got TONS of emails!

But, you know what? I have NO bad news to report - only good news.

I’ve Never Learned So Much About Myself & My Business…

This launch really was the moment of truth for us and a test to the will, power and “fighter mentality” for everyone on the team.

I learned a TREMENDOUS amount about my own fighter mentality and also that of those on our team.

I also have great lessons that came out of it - things I will share over the coming days with you right here on this blog.

We’ll start with the first lesson today…

It’s OK To Freak Out - Just Do It Fast…

Look, we’re all human and it’s only natural for us to “lose it” or get overwhelmed. Being a fighter does not mean you’re not allowed a moment of weakness.

Being a fighter means you can recollect yourself fast and snap out of it.

Let me give you a story I remembered while I was under my desk…

This Lesson Brought To You By a TV SHOW - “Lost”

Background of the show: A plane mysteriously crashes on an island. Lots of people die but lots also survive. The island is weird and lots of unexplainable things are happening - people are still dying; everyone is scared out of their minds.

As in all crisis moments in life, a leader rises to the occasion. His name is “Jack” and he’s a spinal surgeon back in the ‘real world.’

He gathers everyone and starts to provide structure.

During the first season, something horribly horrifying is happening that they don’t understand and he needs to take a moment to calm down his “right-hand man” - who happens to be a woman (Kate).

She’s on the verge of a breakdown and asks him how he is keeping his cool.

Here’s what he says (I’m paraphrasing, I don’t remember exactly what he said):

“I was once in a surgery, life-threatening surgery, one small mistake and the patient would be dead and it would be MY fault. Well, it was one of my first surgeries and it was a very serious case…

I’m in the process of the surgery and I did something wrong, something terribly wrong - I had the patients entire back open and all her spinal nerves exposed.

Whatever I did caused ALL of her spinal nerves to pour out of her like spaghetti - I had basically sentenced this woman to death - holy sh** what had I just done?

Panic came over me, I freaked out and I filled with fear…here’s what I did:

(Pay attention to this part - it changed the way I handle crisis moments…)

I told myself ‘Jack, it’s OK to be afraid…here’s what we’ll do - go ahead and freak out, go nuts, lose your mind, fill yourself with fear - but do it for FIVE seconds. That’s it.’

Jack goes on to say: ‘I counted down from 5 to 1 and I let fear overtake me, but the instant my 5 seconds were over, I cleared my mind, got rid of the fear and FOCUSED. I fixed the problem and the woman survived and is living a healthy life.’

So what’s the moral of that long paraphrasing?

It’s OK To Be Afraid - Just Get Over It Fast!

Look, the launch that went sour this past month for us, the results could have been catastrophic - my name/reputation/team - everything I spent 4 years building could have been gone in the snap of a finger.

Scary eh?

And, yes, I WAS afraid. But, when I was under that desk - I told myself:

“Your team, your business, your customers - they need you right now, people are counting on you. It’s OK that you’re afraid, just let it overtake you for a minute or so - don’t fight the fear, let it come…

BUT, after that, shut up, sit up and get it done!”

What was the result?

The result was a record-breaking launch not only for the company but for our entire industry.

I’m actually being PRAISED and RESPECTED for the way we handled the aftermath - it’s freaky but it’s almost like it HELPED us. That, my friends, is called making lemonade out of lemon!

=================================

The moral of the story is to NOT fight back against fear - let it come, accept it, acknowledge it, even let it overtake you. BUT, always control it.

YOU tell it when it can come in and YOU tell it when it has to leave. Let it come in for just a bit, then kick it out, re-focus and bring the fighter back out to solve the crisis.

Till next time…

———————————–
** This post has been dedicated to 2 Indians who actually got Tshirts printed with this blog on them! hahaha…

Here’s the background story:

We’re in the middle of a product launch right now and so we’re talking to a lot of “promotional partners” and trying to convince them to promote for our new product.

The best scenario for us is if they promote at least once or twice during or “pre-launch buzz building” and then do another few promotions AFTER we launch…

The problem is that some of our BIG promoters are VERY busy people. They have tons of projects on their plate and even more promotional committments.

So, time is scarce, I feel lucky enough just having them AGREE to promote, much less how MANY promotions they’ll do.

But, the bottom line is that we will have a much bigger success IF they pre-promote.

Just yesterday I had an e-mail from one of these partners (one of the biggest ones in our industry) and he had agreed earlier to promote our product. He sent me an email flat out asking me:

What day do you want me to promote?

Now, I sat back and thought about what to say? From the phrasing of the question, he seemed to be making it clear that I had ONE day and ONE promotion to get out of it - what day did I feel I could get the MOST out of it?

I was a bit dissapointed because I really wanted him to do more than one promotion. However, I was afraid that if I asked for that, I’d offend him or sound greedy.

But, before I replied with my assumption in mind, I figured that I really had nothing to lose. I had to PUSH here. I had to get the HUSTLE into this!

So, my response flat out asked him to do a pre-promotion and post-promotion. I’ll admit that I was a bit nervous.

This morning, I woke up and received a message from him asking me for some promotional material to send his way…

Wait…did he just agree to do it?!  I think so!

A small example, but an iron clad one for sure. Had I “assumed” something and not asked, I would be stuck with just one promotion. However, since I just got over my “fear” and asked him, I’m now getting exactly what I wanted!

The worst thing that can happen when you ask is that they say “no.” Big deal, you’ve been hearing no your entire life! But, even if there is a .1% chance that they’ll say yes, GO FOR IT!

( By the way, I DID have another promotional partner flat out say no. So what? I’m still alive and he’s still promoting on launch day. I lost NOTHING, only had something to gain. )

I really want to thank one of my friends for getting me out of a slight “funk” recently. Here’s the odd thing though, he got me out of the funk by giving me the worst advice anyone could give me!

But his advice woke me up, it reminded me of what I REALLY believe and the belief system that has gotten me where I am in my life today.

Here’s the back story…

I Was Recently a Bit Down…Wasn’t Sure Why…

A few weeks, not depressed or anything, but just feeling lethargic and unenergetic. I even seemed to be not get excited about great honors I’ve recently received.

I finally opened up a bit to one of my closest friends a few nights ago and expressed my major confusion as to what’s going on. This is the FIRST time that “something has been wrong with me” and I had no idea what it was.

Bottom line, everything in my life is going about as great as it possibly could.

That’s What My Friend Said - “But, You’re At The Top of Your Game Dude…”

…and he’s dead right, life has almost been SURREAL as of lately. I’ve been seeing success at almost every corner and getting recognition and national coverage for it!

I spent some time talking things out with my friend seeing that maybe if I put my thoughts out loud, something would click and I’d better understand my mental state.

It was then that I started to see a recurring theme…

Life Just Feels Too “Normal” And Repetitive Lately…

My friend quickly picked up on the fact that it seemed I was either bored, unchallenged or just needed a break from routine. However, here is where he REALLY helped me.

He felt that the feeling was obscene! His exact words…

“But, dude, that’s what life is…it’s redundant and repetitive, you’re supposed to get into a pattern and do it over and over, that’s what growing up is all about…”

I’ve never cringed more in my life then when I heard him say that. It was as if someone took a 15 inch blade to my stomach!

How could he POSSIBLY believe that?

It Was Then That I Realized What I LOVED About Myself…

Almost my entire life (at least as far as I can remember), I’ve been known to do things differently and to always do the one thing that others tell me I “can’t” do.

I’ve kept life exciting.

I graduated from college and dove into my own business (for example).

I realized that what I LOVED about my life was that I did what I wanted and when I wanted. I didn’t believe in boundaries and I certainly didn’t let life become repetitive and even BORING…

So, thank you my friend - you helped remind me of one of my biggest strengths!

Time To Do Something Different Again, New Experience…Things Others Say I Can’t Do!

…You got it, I already have a good idea of what it will be. But, you know what, it makes ME happy to even think about doing it, so who cares how crazy it sounds or who thinks I’m stupid for doing it.

Till date, if I had listened to all the nay-sayers, I’d be nobody and probably stay that way my whole life.

=========================

So, in the end, NO LIFE IS NOT MEANT TO BE REDUNDANT AND REPETITIVE! This is the belief system of those who follow/fail and lose, not the belief system of leaders and pioneers.

Go out and experience something new, it’s the only way to grow in life.

I’ve told you in the past that they are FULL of energy and it amazes me. Well, here’s proof…

Just some back-story on this: I was walking through and they caught me with a camera and immediately wanted to perform so I could record them.

One of the kids comes to me and says: “I can do a cartwl;kjalksjdf” I asked him 10 times to clarify and I just could not understand what he was saying.

So…he decides that rather than deal with trying to make me understand, he’d just SHOW me…

The following is what ensued…

I never watched videos, I didn’t read new books, I didn’t buy new courses…rather I sat there and “smack talked” them, putting them down and making myself feel better.

Then…one day…a question came to me…

“Why is it that these guys are all making so much more money than me?”

You see one of my good friends (no names) was making it VERY big online all of a sudden, his business was blowing up. Mine, however, was growing steadily but not seeing nearly the growth that he was (but still great).

I really started to think about the difference between us and here’s what I learned…

–> This guy was in MULTIPLE mastermind groups and even paying $15,000 a year for one of them.

–> He bought and read EVERY book and course out there.

–> When others spoke, his slick mind LISTENED and IMPLEMENTED…

That Day I Made A Decision…

I decided that I’m going to listen more and open my mind (again). The days I used to have the fastest growth were the days that I took in ALL the training I could get!

Now, I have to admit, it hasn’t been easy. I still have that voice inside my head that tries to get me to stop and go about doing my own things. And, yes, 90% of what I read/watch or spend time learning, I already know.

However, let’s face it:

A) It’s great to hear things again and get a refresher. Sometimes it’s just the right timing.

B) If all you even get is the 10% - DEFINITELY worth it!

Today, I watched a 20 minute video I’d never watch in the past…

It had NO CONTENT, it was just a pure promotion. But, I learned more from watching it than most content based videos I’ve watched in the last year.

Why?

Because I got tremendous value out of just seeing HOW they are promoting their next product. I was impressed and already have tons of ideas flying around for my next project.

Lesson for the day: No, you don’t know it all (I don’t care who you are). And stop looking to learn from things that are “revolutionary” - if all you get is ONE good tip from something, it’s worth it’s weight in gold!

Here’s some background…

A few days ago I had some dental work and just 2 days afterwards, my teeth really started to hurt. The minute they started hurting, I (freakishly) had the fear that I’m going to need a root canal. I have no idea where it came from, I’ve never had one before - just had the fear.

#1 - Root Canal Comes True…

As soon as I get to my dentist she proceeds to tell me that she may have “messed up” a bit and that I may now require a root canal…ouch.

Unhappy with what I’ve learned, the next thought creeps into my mind…

“Man, this is going to be a bad day…” Just as I’m thinking that…

#2 - Pulled Over For Speeding…

It’s been 9 years since I was pulled over by a police officer, but of course today had to be the day! I get caught in a speed trap that’s right after a downward hill.

Irritated, frustrated and with a hurting jaw, I am bickering as I enter the highway and again think to myself…“See, I TOLD you today is going to be a …BAM!”

#3 - Big Pebble Flies Into My Windshield…

A windshield I just replaced 2 months ago after cracking, now it needs replacing again!

At this point I can’t do anything but chuckle, however, stupidly, I keep repeating “what a bad day…what a bad day…”

#4 - NO PARKING!?

The same office we’ve been in 3 years now, it’s been 2 years since the parking lot was so full that there wasn’t even one spot left. Well, of course, today was the day to break THAT record too…

So, now I’m left parking randomly in a lot that my car really does not belong in…

How I Turned It Around…

I walk into my office telling everyone how bad my day is and bickering about how I want to go home, but can’t! One of my close friends and business associates, Amit, is flying in from Miami to visit for a few days.

It was right then that Amit smacked me into shape.

As soon as he walked in, I told him about my day and he proceeds to tell me: “Dude, you create your own day, it’s because you keep thinking negatively that bad things are happening…”

“OF COURSE!” I think… “I KNEW THAT!”

I immediately make a decision to turn my day around, “I won’t let this day be bad anymore, it’s a great day and I’m loving it…” It’s been 10 hours since I declared that and the day turned out to be incredibly productive and positive.

So, next time you think “today’s going to stink” - remember, you are what you think!