Silence Is Golden…
What you learn today: Do you get uncomfortable with silence? Feel the need to talk to replace it? Do you get antsy when you don’t hear an answer? Here’s an exercise…
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Have you ever noticed how intimidating silence can be? Most of us innately feel the need to talk and fill in silence, what we don’t realize is that we’re showing too many of our cards when we talk too much.
The less you share many times, the more cards you have on your side…
This may sound vindictive, but it’s the truth. A big part of being a successful fighter is winning debates, negotiations and winning over people. Many times, the key here is to keep an upper-hand, know someone else’s “touch points” without revealing yours.
I’ve noticed that when I talk too much or am too aggressive, I end up being on the “needy” side of things and lose control over the “fight.”
Here’s an exercise I’ve been working on and I welcome you to join as well…(I encourage you to join):
PRACTICE SILENCE & PATIENCE
Let’s use an example…say you’ve just made an offer on a car and it’s been 10 hours and the sales guy has not called you back - FINE, DON’T CALL HIM!
The minute you all him, the message you’ve sent is that you’re desperate and have nothing better to sit around and think about. He gets the upper hand and your dealing power decreases.
OR, the next time you’re trying to get something your way - mention it and then DON’T defend it. Keep quiet, let the other person talk and talk, listen to them and gather your argument points.
When you DO talk, make it razor sharp and to the point.
Silence is golden (as they’ve said) - especially when you’re negotiating…
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Tags: Dealing With People, silence
June 14th, 2008 at 1:08 am
Great post!, Reminds me of a time that a car dealership called my husband back - after a long period of silence. This dealership was 3 hours from our house and my husband said “It’s a done deal, right?” By the time we got there the salesman had left. My husband maintained his “quitenes” while negotiating with the manager and wound up getting the vehicle of his choice for $1,000 below wholesale. Pretty awesome deal, if you’re quiet.
Another thing to mention is that the only way you can truly listen to another person is by being quiet.
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June 16th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
This is awesome when worked on teenager in rebellion. After they have blown off, follow up with, “and how’s that working for you?”
“In the quiet of your heart, there is power” SM
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