I credit a lot of my success to mentors. Since I’ve revealed this on stage, the #1 question I get is:

“How Do I Find a Mentor?”

Ironically, it’s a tough question for me to answer, but I’m going to try.

Let’s first understand what a mentor is.

A mentor is not someone who teaches you everything about everything. Usually I have more than one mentor at a time. I currently have more than 3 just in the world of business.

A mentor is someone who has “been there and done that.” They know the ropes and are willing to guide you. They are your lead advisor.

Here are some ground-rules when it comes to finding a mentor:

1. Do not PAY for the mentor. Anyone you are paying is likely not truly a mentor.
If you pay them, do it be because YOU want to. If they have an up-front fee - forget about it.

2. It is OK to surpass your mentor.
I have surpassed many of those who taught me in the past. It’s not offensive, it means they did a great job.

Luckily, my mentors today are way ahead of me so I have some running to do.

3. Find a mentor for your specific situation.
Just because you already have a “business mentor” does not mean you cannot get another one in a more specific role.

My example/

I am currently looking to write a book. My mentor has not written one before. So, what did I do?

I found someone who has, he has written many. He is well connected and cares about my success.

(We already had our first consultation call and no, he did not charge me nor ask for any money).

4. You need a personal relationship.
Don’t go around asking people to “be my mentor.” That’s not how it works. A mentor comes out more naturally. You need a personal relationship with them.

A great mentor becomes a great friend and even a part of the family. They have to do it for the pure joy of teaching - no other side-benefit.

5. Mentoring relationships GROW…
Again, you don’t walk in, sign a contract and walk out with a mentor. Mentorship is not a business deal, it’s a relationship.

My best mentors “just happened.” A better way of saying that is that they started off slowly and as our relationship grew, so did the amount of advice.

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The Mentors In My Life
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My Parents - Had it not been for the great discipline my father instilled, I would not be who I am today. He stressed education and forced me to always be ahead.

I am who I am today because of my parents.

Copywriter - I learned copywriting and the essence of selling through words from a very popular and generous man.

Not only did I not pay him - he paid ME for the work I did for him. I am forever grateful to him.

Salesmanship & Business - An amazing man who I happened to re-connect with a few days ago! He taught me how to speak on stage, sell a customer and built my confidence.

He was the main reason I had the guts to leave my pre-medical studies and enter business.

Big Business - After graduating from College, I connected with a brilliant and wise man (only old enough to be my brother)! He has expanded my vision and taught me how to run a “big business.”

He’s become a great friend, part of my family and a trusted confidant.

Top Selling Author - As of today, my mentor helping me write my first book.

** There have been many others along the way, the above are the ones that made the biggest impact on my life.

How Did I Find Each of These?

Copywriter - Connected through a random friend. He was impressed with my work online and offered me a part-time virtual (work at home) job.

I earned 3 times my friends and learned 100 times as much.

He started as a boss and quickly became a mentor.

Salesmanship & Business - I joined a company as a Financial Planner at 18 and he was my Marketing Director.

In this case he was “forced” to forge a relationship with me. I was awed with his success and knowledge. He and I became friends immediately and slowly I began turning to him for all of life’s advice.

Big Business - He was my professor in Entrepreneurship 101. Luck would have it, he was also the Director of a business incubator program I got admitted to.

Again, he was “assigned” to help me by the University. However, our relationship went way beyond the 9 to 5 day. He soon saw potential in me and found great joy in helping me.

Top Selling Author - He fell into this role as a friend. He and I travel in the same business circles for the last three years.

I needed help and he offered. One day, he may need help and I’ll be there for him.

The Steps To Finding a Mentor:

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Step 1 - Build Relationships
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Be in as many places as you can be and BUILD RELATIONSHIPS. Treat everyone as if they can teach you something (because they really can).

Treat everyone as a potential mentor, the right one will emerge automatically.

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Step 2 - Ask Questions
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I have news; you don’t know it all. Actually, you barely know anything.

The best thing you can do is admit that today - your rate of growth will go up exponentially.

The good news is that you don’t NEED to know it all or anything at all for that matter. Use your network. Ask questions.

The more questions you ask, the more answers you will get. Watch who answers your questions and look for patterns - your mentor emerges before you.

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Step 3 - Give Back
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Never take, take, take. Learn about your mentor and show respect. Give back to them (any way you can) and show them you appreciate them.

This is where the relationship building takes off.

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Step 4 - Show Results
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The quickest way to lose a mentor is to never listen.

If you ask, ask, ask and never implement their guidance - you’re 2 skips away from losing them.

The biggest reward a mentor can have is to see their student succeed after implementing their advice.

Never ask the same question twice!

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In Summary
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Finding a mentor is a process, not an over-night practice. It’s not easy, but that is what makes it worth it.

Get out there, build relationships, ask questions and give back. Every day you do this, you’re 10 steps closer to finding your perfect mentor.

But, remember, mentors are useless if you are not ready to take action. So, really, making sure you’re ready should be step 1.

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I recently discovered something that I have been missing for years. No, not momentum - I’ve had “that” many times. However, I’ve never CAPITALIZED on it…

Here’s what always happens…

I work my butt off to do something positive (whether business or personal). I find myself working days, weeks and even months (non-stop). Then, the day comes…

Boom…it hits and huge success…

After the success, I’m so “pooped” from the work it took to get there that I decide to take it easy, slow down and sometimes even disappear for a bit.

Of course I do this because we all need rest and time to recuperate but at what price?!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - success comes from hard work and hustling, period. Put your whining, complaining and self-pity away.

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All along what I’ve been doing after a success hits is I’ve been feeling “sorry” for myself and creating an excuse or reason to take an extended break. Well…the world moves fast. By the time I’m ready to come back to work, the world has moved on.

My success is old news and now I need to get my “market attention” back, I have to start all over again!

A Deadly Cycle…

I end up working hard again to get back to that momentum and then again, I’m so dead tired - I take a break.

Well, this time - I’m doing things differently and WOW is it paying off (but I also have an unfair advantage now). We recently just had the most amazing product launch in our company’s history.

14,000 sales in less than 6 days…

That’s right, we brought in more customers in 6 days in February than we had in the entire year of 2008! Now, THAT’S momentum.

I “wanted” to take some time off afterward, but not this time - I won’t make that mistake again. Luckily, we spent a ton of time in 2008 preparing for this and have been SPOT on. We got ready and now we have our entire 2009 planned.

No way I’m letting go of the momentum this time.

So, what was my unfair advantage this time?

I built up resources, people and a plan of action.

See, in the past, I never properly prepared for the success that was to come. I had to rely on either myself or a small core team and our scalibility hit a hard break. We got burned out and HAD to take a break.

This time around - we were ready. Thanks to that, we’ve been able to spread the work load around  a GREAT team of people. We’ve put structure in place that allows ME to move on to the next project to continue growing that momentum.

So, I know it’s easier said than done, but take my word for it. Don’t waste your momentum. Deal with some of the pain now but work even HARDER after you get your first success.

Success is exponential, it grows faster and faster the more of it you get. So, don’t slow down!

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