Deal with it - you’re not perfect and you never will be.

But, if you want to grow, you better be willing to dedicate your life to trying to be perfect.

I’ve found that many people can’t take criticism at all. They take it personally and react defensively and can even get down right nasty.

Here’s the thing…

If you don’t allow those around you to tell where you can improve, how do you expect to grow?

You’re in your head and by human nature, you’re going to feel you’re right. There is no doubt you will always be partial to your own ideas. Only those that know you well and are around you a lot can actually tell you about your positives and negatives.

Guess what? Sometimes the things they have to say are down right SHOCKING, APPALLING and even Disheartening.

It’s your choice - you can either use it to grow or you can find easy excuses to allow you to ignore the advice.

The most used “excuse” to get away from listening to constructive criticism is “it’s him, not me, his feelings are wrong and unfounded…”

Here’s the deal though - you can’t tell someone how to feel. If someone feels a certain way, right or wrong, there is a reason. It’s your job to investigate why…

If it truly is a misunderstanding - resolve it right then and there (but nicely). However, I bet, many times you’ll find some credibility behind their claims.

I ASK For Criticism ALL The Time…

It took a lot of personal growth and maturity to get to the point where I was willing to hear “what’s wrong with me.”

The first time I was forced to do this was when I was forced to pull someone in and tell them what’s wrong with THEM. When I started pointing things out, I opened a pandoras box.

Whether it was through self-defense or true concern (I think a little of both), the minute I offered constructive criticism, I found myself receiving the same in return.

The moment of truth…

Since I was the one running the conversation, I could either take this person’s comments as just baseless attacks OR I could take a step back and open my ears.

Luckily, starting that day I chose the route of opening my ears - it has helped change me in many ways and now when I look back I can clearly see the validity of the criticisms.

Remember…

YOU don’t have any right to control how someone feels. If someone feels a certain “bad” way about something you’re doing - it’s either a misunderstanding OR a valid concern.

Either way, it’s up to YOU to take positive action on it.

Choose to ignore it and you’re only cheating yourself.

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I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine, we were talking about “leadership” and what it takes. He’s currently in a position where he might have to step up and take control; it seems that he is concerned.

We were chatting about how he should approach certain problems and he made a statement that made me think…

I was giving him some “sneaky” advice about how to talk to people and well…get them to do what YOU want.

His response:

“But I don’t want to be manipulative…”

hmm…”Is that what I am?” - Time for a “self-check” - one of those moments where you wonder “Have I gone from good to evil some where along the way?”

Let me give you some background about why I felt this way…

I checked the definition of the word “manipulation” and I actually found two completely contradictory definitions in the dictionary right next to each other.

Here are the two definitions:

Skillful or artful management.

and…

Shrewd or devious management, especially for one’s own advantage.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but they seem to be the exact opposite. One seems to be a compliment and the other seems to be slanderous.

My personal opinion is that “manipulation” has been taken the wrong way - but it does sound like a negative word. So, after lots of thinking I realized that “No, I’m not evil, I’m not really manipulating anyone…I’m INFLUENCING them…”

Using Your Manipulative Powers For GOOD….

Here’s the blatant truth whether you like it or not. All good leaders, political, CEOs, religious (you name it) are INCREDIBLY manipulative - they know how to get what they want from a MASS of people.

But, here’s what differentiates between good and evil…

Are they using it for GOOD or for BAD?

If you’re using it for good then let’s call it INFLUENCING and not manipulation…

Bottom Line, 99% of People Are Followers…

Here is the next blatant truth for you: most people are followers, not leaders. We’re taught to be that way from birth. Even religions are built with hierarchy - you are to FOLLOW…

So…because of this, if you want to be a leader, you have no choice but to learn how to influence.

A good leader has to motivate and get the mass to do what he/she feels is the best to do.

Leaders Get Inside Heads…

Bottom line, you need to be able to get into the heads of others, lower their red flags, gain their trust and then lead them in a direction.

The powers of influence can be enormous, use them wisely and use them only for good - but you have to use them.

In the coming weeks, I’ll share some of my *sneaky* techniques here, they already did wonders for my friend (from what I’m hearing)…

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