…what in the devil’s sir name are you talking about?!

I really want to thank one of my friends for getting me out of a slight “funk” recently. Here’s the odd thing though, he got me out of the funk by giving me the worst advice anyone could give me!

But his advice woke me up, it reminded me of what I REALLY believe and the belief system that has gotten me where I am in my life today.

Here’s the back story…

I Was Recently a Bit Down…Wasn’t Sure Why…

A few weeks, not depressed or anything, but just feeling lethargic and unenergetic. I even seemed to be not get excited about great honors I’ve recently received.

I finally opened up a bit to one of my closest friends a few nights ago and expressed my major confusion as to what’s going on. This is the FIRST time that “something has been wrong with me” and I had no idea what it was.

Bottom line, everything in my life is going about as great as it possibly could.

That’s What My Friend Said - “But, You’re At The Top of Your Game Dude…”

…and he’s dead right, life has almost been SURREAL as of lately. I’ve been seeing success at almost every corner and getting recognition and national coverage for it!

I spent some time talking things out with my friend seeing that maybe if I put my thoughts out loud, something would click and I’d better understand my mental state.

It was then that I started to see a recurring theme…

Life Just Feels Too “Normal” And Repetitive Lately…

My friend quickly picked up on the fact that it seemed I was either bored, unchallenged or just needed a break from routine. However, here is where he REALLY helped me.

He felt that the feeling was obscene! His exact words…

“But, dude, that’s what life is…it’s redundant and repetitive, you’re supposed to get into a pattern and do it over and over, that’s what growing up is all about…”

I’ve never cringed more in my life then when I heard him say that. It was as if someone took a 15 inch blade to my stomach!

How could he POSSIBLY believe that?

It Was Then That I Realized What I LOVED About Myself…

Almost my entire life (at least as far as I can remember), I’ve been known to do things differently and to always do the one thing that others tell me I “can’t” do.

I’ve kept life exciting.

I graduated from college and dove into my own business (for example).

I realized that what I LOVED about my life was that I did what I wanted and when I wanted. I didn’t believe in boundaries and I certainly didn’t let life become repetitive and even BORING…

So, thank you my friend - you helped remind me of one of my biggest strengths!

Time To Do Something Different Again, New Experience…Things Others Say I Can’t Do!

…You got it, I already have a good idea of what it will be. But, you know what, it makes ME happy to even think about doing it, so who cares how crazy it sounds or who thinks I’m stupid for doing it.

Till date, if I had listened to all the nay-sayers, I’d be nobody and probably stay that way my whole life.

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So, in the end, NO LIFE IS NOT MEANT TO BE REDUNDANT AND REPETITIVE! This is the belief system of those who follow/fail and lose, not the belief system of leaders and pioneers.

Go out and experience something new, it’s the only way to grow in life.

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So, I was scheduled to fly out today (out of the country). I had my flight leaving Washington, Dulles Airport at 5:05 PM and running a connection through New York (JFK).

It hit 5 PM and they announced that our plane had not even left it’s other destination yet, but that it would come (don’t worry everyone).

Then, at 6 PM, they suddenly just canceled the flight! My connecting flight was at 8:55 PM and this left me little room to do anything.

All the passengers got in the herendous line to get help from the rediculously mean women at the counter. I had two options:

1. Follow suit and get in line and pray for the best.

2. Take things into my own hands and CALL Delta.

I did the latter and although it took me a good 30 minutes on the phone, we came to an agreeable alternate solution (which has me leaving tomorrow). However, there were many times that the call tested my patience. As nice as the woman was on the phone, some of her rediculously imposed red-tape was seriously starting to pi** me off!

“But I Kept My Cool…I Kept On Smiling…”

I almost lost my cool, but I made a conscious decision not to. I was watching what was happening down the line from people who were flaring their arms around and acting like monkeys.

They were getting the same rudness in return and ended up with results they were not happy with.

I, however, kept asking the attendent on the phone to place herself in my shoes and to be fair. The more I talked to her as a PERSON and REASONED, the further I got to getting a desirable result!

In the end, I got a great outcome and was very happy with it.

Then It Happened Again!

As I got home, I had to call the hotel and change my reservation and I already knew that they were going to try to charge me the day because I was within 24 hours. However, IT WASN’T MY FAULT!

Plus, I had extended my stay by one more day, so they were still going to get the same number of nights from me. When I called, the initial reaction was the same “no sir, we have to charge.”

I immediately asked for the supervisor (very nicely) and I made my case. However, STILL they didn’t listen!

Again, about to lose my cool to people who are being unreasonable, but then I remembered…

I realized that I could just call the corporate office and reason with them given my high points with them. So, that’s what I did. The representative was GREAT. She immediately called the hotel on my behalf and argued my case.

Eventually, the entire matter got handled and I have to pay nothing.

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Here’s what I learned…

I’ve watched my own father handle these situations and he’s a firm believer in “ATTACK hard and you get your way…” - Many times I’ve felt that he’s too fast to yell, shout and throw around threats, I’m starting to think that I may be right.

Given that I run my own business, lately I’ve actually been LESS likely to help someone if they call kicking and screaming then someone who calls reasoning with me on logic and nicely asking for HELP.

My Advice To You Is This - Don’t be that guy in line who was flaring his arms around and shouting - it won’t get you what you want. Take a deep breath, nicely ask for help and reason by asking the other person to place themselves in your shoes (while also placing YOURSELF in their shoes so they know it’s a two way street).

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Leonardo, a 5 year old charming young man paid me a visit today. Like any incredibly playful and talkative kid, he immediately started telling me stories of what “Mike did to him today, what his teacher said and how he threw a football across the whole field!…”

Confession - I typically just nod my head yes with a blank stare, but I’m glad I didn’t do that today.

Who knew that in his over-excited story-telling he would embark on me a piece of life advice that spun me into 3 hours of thinking and maybe even a moment of revelation.

What Were His Words of Advice?

“Just relax man, everything will work out just fine…”

I’m 100% serious, those are the exact words a 5 year old said to me when he observed that I was losing my temper with my mom.

2 Months Ago I Burned Out And Stopped Worrying…

Here’s the scoop. 2 months ago a LOT of things happened. You know how they say “when it rains, it pours” - well let’s just say I had a monsoon. As much of a Fighter as I am, this time, I was in over my head.

I got incredibly stressed, I began worrying and even thinking “life as I knew it was over.”

Talk about over-reacting and freaking out? I was the poster child.

I had lost all control, I couldn’t calm down - my brain was running 100 mph and negativity had overtaken me.

Two things happened that I feel saved me:

1. I re-started Mind Aerobics (thank god).

2. My body’s self-defense mechanisms kicked in and I BURNED OUT!

That’s right, I had worried so much that my brain actually SHUT OFF. I woke up one morning and had the completely wrong attitude - “I just didn’t care any more…to ‘he**’ with it, I don’t care what happens…”

Obviously this is NOT the right way to react, but ironically it was just what I needed. Why?

Because I finally “relaxed maaaan…”

Within Days After Relaxing The Problems Started Dissapearing…

My “careless” attitude allowed me to finally relax and get my head together. I had just accepted the worst case so now I officially had nothing to lose, I just started focusing on implementing solutions.

One by one, everything began to improve and within just a few weeks, I was rocking and rolling!

The day I officially pulled out of the mess I remember thinking to myself, “You see, you did it AGAIN, just as always, you pulled out. Why do you freak out so much?  You KNOW you’ll get through it, you always do.”

I cannot express how much of a difference that new realization has made. I finally TRUST myself. I believe in myself. I know now that if all I do is relax, focus, believe in myself and take action, I can overcome any problem.

I mean, for god sake, I’ve almost died 3 times, battled a chronic illness since I was 13, started/run my own business, etc…etc… - what else do we need to do in life to start trusting ourselves?

So thank you Leonardo, your words today helped put structure around something I was thinking about for months now. You’re one smart 5 year old, it’s going to be fun watching you grow up.

Lesson For The Day: For the love of god, have some faith in yourself, trust in yourself and relaaax man, you and I both know that you’ll be fine and you’ll make it through one way or the other.

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Ever had anything bad happen to you? Anything that really crawled under your skin? Something you feel like you never got closure on?

How long have you let it eat away at you…how long did you run around complaining about it and inflicting your negativity not only on yourself but on all those around you?

What good did it do? Did it help you in any way? Did it help anyone around you in any way?

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Without being too specific, I will just say that a while back “things” happened that left someone very unhappy with me. In all honesty, I had just as much reason to be upset with him, however, I never really was.

In short, things didn’t go exactly the way this person had wanted, even though I did everything in my power to help resolve the matter (and he even agrees that I did), he walked away very un-happy.

It’s been months and months now and I’ve since completely forgotten about it. The only time I am reminded about it is when I hear this person is (yet again) publicly making remarks about his displeasure.

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Initially I used to get very upset and confused about why this person is acting this way. However, I recently had a moment of “epiphany.” You see, I know this person, he’s not a bad guy - the opposite actually, he’s an awesome person (good heart and all).

So, when I decided to put myself in his shoes, I realized that for him to STILL be so bitter that he continues to make remarks, he must really have been hurt or even traumatized from what happened. See, for me, it was not a big deal, like politics, I was used to it all - however, for him it was all BRAND new.

Rather than being upset with him, I now try to better understand his side. I guess he’s still very upset/hurt and the reason he continues to make “sly” remarks every now and then is because he needs a release (a pressure valve to open).

But what good is it doing?

It’s not hurting me (maybe irritating me a little). However, it is bothering him obviously. It’s bringing negativity to him and those who he makes the remarks to.

Whatever needs to be done, he needs to do SOMETHING to gain closure - it’s just not good to keep carrying it around.

2 lessons today:

1. Before you react to someone, take a minute and put yourself in their shoes. You may still not agree with what they did, but I promise you’ll better understand them.

2. LET GO! I don’t care what you have to do, but find a way to let go. Negativity can become a plague, not only bringing you down, but all those around you who you care the most for.

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What You’re About To Learn: The “Sunday Remedy” to kill any job burnout before it even starts!

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> Lying on your couch
> Pathetic TV series in the DVD player
> Unshaven, Unshowered (maybe even smelly)
> Beer cans lying around
> Half empty box of cold pizza (maybe even some wings)

What I just painted is a picture of what Hollywood has taught us to recognize as “pathetic” or a “loser.” Our minds are trained to think of a person doing those things as being depressed or unhappy.

Well, I have shocking news for you…I don’t agree!

Have you ever actually TRIED to just lounge for one day and do the very things you’re taught to discipline yourself not to?

A carton of haagen-dazs? A large pizza? Or anything that requires no thinking, lounging on a couch and laughing.

“Burnout” can be horrible and should be taken very seriously - VERY seriously. It not only makes you feel like crap, it leads to loss of motivation, loss of ambition and many times into quitting.

Of course, some times burn-outs are very serious and extend past the reach of cheap, short home remedies - but if you can catch it in time, the “Sunday Remedy” may be all you need!

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and at the edge of a burn-out, try the following steps (I know this will be funny and make no sense, but it works - trust me)!

The “Job Burnout” Sunday Remedy…

1. Take a Sunday off - Cancel EVERYTHING, no family time, no friend time, no lunch date/dinner date - nothing at all. Plan to not even SEE anyone.

2. Buy 1 Season of a TV series you like (I enjoy HBO’s Entourage) - This should end up being about 15-20 hours, more than enough. Make sure this is a show you really like or have been excited to watch. If it’s a show that frustrates you or bores you, the “Sunday Remedy” won’t work.

3. Grab a bottle or wine or some beer - If you don’t drink, just get some soda. I think it works better if you get something “unhealthy” that actually tastes good - this is not the day to think about diet or healthy eating.

4. Pizza/Wings/Hoagie or something like it - Speaking of diets, make sure to line yourself up with some great food. My personal favorite is pizza or wings. I also surround myself with chips.

5. Comfortable couch - Very important that you be comfortable, fix up the right temperature in the room, comfy couch, blanket, whatever it takes.

6. Unplug the phone - CRITICAL. You are not to answer the door, entertain friends, answer phone calls. The minute you do this, the entire remedy is at risk.

7. Sit on your big BEhind Yes, that’s right, just sit there, eat, drink and watch your TV show (knowing that you’ve got hours and hours of it on DVD).

This is probably the most confusing post I’ve made to date right? It feels weird that I would actually advise something like this. All I can say is that “don’t knock it before trying it.”

The very thing that Hollywood depicts as depression and “loserish” - I am going to be bold enough to say that it can be the best feeling in the world while being incredibly refreshing - try it!

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Society teaches us to hide our frustrations. Anyone who shows emotion or a sign of being “let down” is considered weak and not in control.

Given that, when we get frustrated or fail - we’re inclined to do either of two things:

1. Freak out.
2. Bottle it up.

Both are wrong.

My opinion is that feeling frustrated, feeling like giving up - those feelings are just fine, as a matter of fact they are almost necessary. If you don’t feel those every now and then, how you ever going to know when things are good?

My trick is that I feel it’s ok to “freak out” or express incredible frustration or even think about quitting - as long as you do it for a few moments and then put it behind you.

These are powerful feelings, no one (I don’t care who you are) can just ignore them and package them away - they’ll get you eventually. So, why not do the opposite?

Why not acknowledge them and purposely let them vier their ugly heads around the corner? Try this…

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, frustrated or thinking of quitting…give yourself a DEDICATED amount of time that you will allow those feelings to impact you and make you feel sorry for yourself and once that time is up - cut it out, push them out and move on.

Example/

You just stepped on the scale and see that you did not lose any weight this week after all the hard work you put in. The feeling to quit starts to seep in, frustration, disappointment and negative emotions take you over.

Let them - but look at yourself in the mirror and say…

“Fine, you got 15 minutes (or 1 hour or whatever) - go ahead and be depressed and feel sorry for yourself. But, that’s it, after that time, back at it we go. So hear me all you negative feelings, I’m ‘allowing’ you to engulf me for the next 15 minutes. Do what you want, but know this, you have 15 minutes and then you’re OUT OF HERE.”

Learn to control your emotions appropriately, we don’t control everything so sometimes you need to let nature do it’s course - but in the end you control the outcome.

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