I was reminiscing today about my business and my life and just thinking over the times where I’ve experienced the most growth or had the BEST results.

When I looked long enough I found some “spikes,” it was not that smooth. I was actually a bit disappointed. I was confused as well. I work hard all the time don’t I? Is this just luck?

Guess what I found when I probed long enough?

1. It had NOTHING to do with luck.

2. I DIDN’T work hard all the time.

3. It was 100% correlated with how hard I was working…

I Call This The “Hustle Effect…”

Now, what I’m about to say is 100% against what EVERY single “self help” book teaches you, so just deal with it If you don’t agree, no problem, just don’t complain to me later on when I’m right!

Here is what I saw in my life with the “spikes.”

Every time I had the extended success, I found that I was “heavily motivated” by something. I was working LATE hours and I was just going and going and going. Those were times when I actually remember not knowing what day it was or what I had to be doing that day.

What a crappy life? Right?

Now all the self-help books blab about this “balance” crap. You know, “don’t bring your work home…” blabbady blah.

Bottom line is that that is 100% baloney. The truth of the matter is that you NEED to bring it home and to your car, to your shower, everywhere you go!

I completely agree that a “smart” businessman delegates. You have a great “A player” team that you can delegate and that will allow you to take more time off. However, do you know how expensive it is to have this kind of team?

How do bridge the gap from when you can’t afford that team to when you can?

You work your tail off…that’s how.

See, when looking back, I saw that the MOST success I had came from the times when I was hustling around. I wouldn’t take no for an answer and I was doing EVERYTHING and ANYTHING it took.

Then, when success started to hit a bit, I got comfortable with my nice big car, my beautiful condo, my take-out food, etc… Now, I find myself spending hours a day sometimes watching movies.

Then, I wonder why the growth has slowed from what it was years ago? DUH!

I have a new rule for myself starting yesterday - i’M TURNING THE HUSTLE BACK ON.

I now wake up and come to the office and the first thing I do is make a list of everything I have to do that day. I make a “to-do” list.

My rule now is that I will NOT leave my office until that list is finished, period. I know that I don’t have the discipline to work at home, too many distractions - so I just won’t allow myself to go home.

For example, it’s 6:30 PM on a Friday evening and I’m at work. Oh well, I still have 6 things to finish. Hustle time, HUSTLE!

NOTE: I’m a single young guy, so yes, I have less responsibilities. For those of you with families and other responsibilities, please adapt my rule above accordingly to your lifestyle. Just don’t buy into some of the self-help mumbo-jumbo, you WILL have to work your tail off if you wanna become something.

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…and I won!

What you learn today: Don’t worry about what others are doing, worry about what you’re doing…

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Yesterday, I was at a baby shower for my sister-in-law and typically when I go to these, the women all play these “games” to have fun, but the men are always left out.

Well, not this time - my cousin had thought up of a great game.

She filled up small baby bottles with Heineken beer and would make all of us drink the beer out of a bottle. Whoever finished first would win.

Beer? Competition? Baby Bottle? I’m THERE!

How was this to be missed? I grabbed my bottle, waited for the count-down and began chugging.

WOW - how do babies do it? Not sure if you’ve ever tried drinking out of a bottle, it’s HARD - barely anything comes out.

So, I kept on trying and trying barely getting anywhere and finally I overhear my dad in the background say “the reason he’s going so slow is because he’s not letting go and then sucking again…”

“Ahhh….so THAT’S how you do it?”

The minute I heard that I changed my game plan and implemented the advice and it worked like a charm.

All of a sudden I hear people making a fuss so I stop, it seems that someone has won? But the minute I stopped, my cousin insisted that I keep on going until it’s finished. “Maybe there’s a second prize?” I thought…so I kept “drinking!”

A few sucks later and I hear everyone cheering me on, “did I just win?” I DID!

So What Lessons Can You Take Away From My Bottle Beer Drinking?

Believe it or not, but there is actually a “life-lesson” in that story! You see, I did TWO things that helped me win and really set me apart.

1. As I was drinking I was paying attention to my surroundings. I was listening to feedback and what people were saying. I ended up catching some good advice that ultimately led to me winning.

So, that’s a point to remember, use your 6th sense to keep a pulse of your surroundings. Listen and watch and be nimble enough to change your strategy the minute the environment changes.

2. I didn’t worry about how far “others” were…

This is a BIG one because we all do this in life. I think we spend more time worrying about what OTHERS are doing and where THEY are then we do about ourselves. However, in this case, I did the opposite.

Not even once did I even THINK about where the other person was, I just focused on drinking the FASTEST I possibly could and look what happened?! I won!

Rather the energy it takes to watch where others are, I spent that energy LISTENING to my surroundings and keeping my 6th sense open.

Remember, worry about yourself, what YOU’RE doing - don’t focus so much on what others are doing (other than to learn from it and implement it for yourself).

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What you learn today: A simple thing to say to yourself every time someone says no to you…

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6 years ago I took a job as a financial planner with one of the largest broker dealers in our area. This was my first time taking a “sales related” job and I was only 19 years old, but very motivated.

Trying to sell families and small businesses on using YOU as their financial planner when you barely have $500 in the bank is a very tough task so obviously I got shot down quite a bit when I pitched clients (I looked like a kid for god sake).

One Conversation I’ll Never Forget…

At that time my Marketing Director was more of a mentor and close friend, just overall a great teacher. I remember one specific day after our “staff meeting” I was very deflated and thinking about quitting.

My “boss” looked at me and just said this one line that I think was a turning point in my life for sales…

“With Every No You’re Closer To a Yes…”

If you think about it, that simple phrase has so many messages that make sense.

1. Persistence
2. Never give up or quit 
3. Rejection leads to success
4. Failure leads to success

I can literally keep going.

I came back within the next year and was the top sales agent in my region and age group - I was even being asked to speak at their regional events!

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Take a minute now to sit back and really think about this line - “With every no you’re closer to a yes…”

The next time you’re feeling down after having something bad happen, rinse and repeat that statement. 

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A fighter needs to learn how to make hard decisions, whether it be personal, professional or anything for that matter. Those who make decisions are the ones that lead, even if at times those decisions are hard.

After years of decision-making (right and wrong), the decisions have only gotten harder and harder with bigger potential rewards and/or consequences. By default, I was becoming inclined to debate and reason for days/weeks and even months before I made a hard decision.

Never Do This When Making A Decision

What’s worse is that I was starting to get “wishy washy” - meaning I would make a decision and then change it and then make another one and change it again…

I still am a bit “wishy washy,” especially as of lately - my head has been in a bit of a fog with everything going on.

It was because of this that I recently made a decision about how I would make decisions

Go with my gut feeling…

Rule #1 of Making Hard Decisions

Before you let your brain become overwhelmed with “logical reasoning” and all the “what ifs” - take a step back, step OUT of your own head and just think “what is my gut saying?”

Many times (I’d say 90% of the time), THAT is the right decision to go with. Yes, some times it isn’t, but none of us will ever make the right decision 100% of the time, not possible.

Your gut is actually very observant, start to trust it more.

How Do You Know What Your Gut Thinks?

First of all, “your gut” is more like “what you feel…” - it’s just that FEELING you get, sometimes you have no way of explaining it, but you know it’s there.

The best way to know what your gut is thinking is to do this exercise:

Step back and DE-clog your mind…count down from 10 while taking a few deep breaths.

Now, simply ASK yourself the question and look for the FIRST feeling you get - something inside you WILL respond immediately. What you want is that IMMEDIATE response, not the one that comes right after it or 5 seconds into it (that’s when the “decision debate” starts and that is precisely what we’re trying to get away from).

Let’s see an example:

“Should I confront Lisa about the comments she made to Mark about me?” <– just pulled one out of thin air…

Now, you will INSTANTLY get a feeling in your head/gut - somewhere, anywhere. It’ll either say YES or it’ll say NO. THAT initial feeling is your answer/decision.

RIGHT after that initial feeling you’ll instantly also hear the “But…and what if…” For now, don’t pay attention to them. The first thing you need to do is recognize and listen to your gut.

Once you know what your gut says…

After Your Gut, Give Your Brain ONE Counter-Argument…

What I do after my gut declares the decision is give my brain a chance to counter-argue (like in court) just once. So, I let myself get overtaken by ALL the “what ifs.” Here’s the next question I ask myself…

“Are these risks so big that they overshadow the benefit?”

If your answer is yes, then you’ve officially made a decision and now have reason to counter your gut.

Here’s the thing though, I’ve done this many times and hardly ever has my brain been able to overrule my gut.

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I was scanning the internet today and I found a place that was absolutely BASHING one of my friends - some of it was down right offensive to even me (but I’ll admit some of it was just good fun). Either way, many of the bashers on this site were being incredibly hurtful.

It’s all because this person is in the public eye and of course with that comes the publicity and those who make fun of you.

It reminded me of the many people who have levied attacks on me and my personality/ethics in the past based on some ridiculous points.

That then further led me to think about all the times I’ve been “rejected” and I started to wonder why it no longer impacts me at all? I seem to just shrug it off, I suppose it’s happened so many times…

The “fighter” in me has learned to deal with rejection and is basically immune to it now.

How To Deal With Rejection - The Fighter Way

1. Expect it - You’re not perfect, never will be. If you apply to 10 jobs, 7 will likely reject you - it’s just how it is. If you launch a business, the odds are against you. If you’re in the public eye, SOMEONE will attack you.

Accept it - if you can’t, then you’re living in “la la” land.

2. Numbers Game - Never put your eggs in one basket. Life is almost always a numbers game. The more people you ask, the more “yes’s” you’ll get (along with the no).

3. Take Your Mind Off of It IMMEDIATELY - It’s like ripping a band-aid off, do it FAST, scream and move on. You can let it overtake your mind for only 6 seconds and then get yourself busy with something so you don’t dwell on it.

4. Join The Fun - This is a technique my parents taught me as a kid when people made fun of me, my mom said “try laughing along with them…” It works, when you don’t react, you’re not as fun to poke at.

5. DON’T REACT - This is the worst thing you can do if you’re rejected or being made fun of. People WANT a rise out of you, don’t give it to them.

Remember, when life pushes you, stand straight, SMILE and push back.

6. My Favorite - Change Your Mindset

Rather than thinking that you just got a “no,” think that you’re “one step closer to a yes.” They both mean the same thing, but it’s how you think about it.

The more you succeed, the more you’ll have to deal with rejection. It sounds opposite, but it’s the truth and it’s exactly how it happens.

Expect it, laugh at it and move on. If you start to dwell, remind yourself that you’re fighter, not a whiner

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The Fighter Mentality is not only something that comes to life AFTER something goes wrong, but more something that is awake 24/7 and always on the look-out.

Whenever a fighter is faced with an obstacle or challenge or smells one coming, he/she immediately kicks into mode and starts preparing for the fight. I’ve spent the last 5 years evaluating what I do and I’ve found a consistent patter.

How To Overcome Obstacles - FIRST, Prepare For The Worst…

I know that sounds like old and re-hashed advice, but hear me out.

I’ve learned that in order for me to face a problem head-on with a clear head, I have to ACCEPT (100%) the WORST possible outcome that could happen.

What do I mean by this?

Here’s a personal and fairly extreme example.

When I was in the ICU a couple of years ago, many nurses told me that I was probably the happiest patient they had ever seen with the best attitude (just to note, I was internally bleeding profusely, could not even stand up without risking heart overload and had already gone into shock from blood loss once).

So, yes, pretty serious situation.

This was a point in which the “Fighter” kicked in. I evaluated the situation and determined the WORST case - it was that I may die, I’m not trying to be dramatic - just proving a point.

Save All Energy For Positive Thoughts...

If I was going to “fight” this situation and come out on top, I had to put 100% of my energy on positive things and focus on getting better, I could not spare even ONE second “fearing” the worst. So, I simply accepted it.

I accepted the fact that I had lived a good life and that if I die, it would be amongst my loved ones and that if I was going to go, I would make it a point to go with a smile on my face.

It took me a lot of convincing myself, but I did accept it. At the SAME time, I determined that “if they’re gonna take me, Ima go down swinging!”

So, I was very motivated to fight and WIN. I focused 100% of my energy on motivating myself and taking every situation one step at a time.

In the end, I was able to completely focus on getting better and I did. I had accepted the worst possible situation and so I no longer feared it (and was prepared for it).

The next time you have an obstacle ahead of you - face your fears. Pretend as if the worst has already happened. Plan your way OUT of that situation, accept it and see how much easier it is to stand and fight.

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Every now and then I see a story that really strikes me and reminds me again why the “fighter mentality” is so important. Unfortunately many who are not stuck in dyer situations are not motivated enough to awaken the fighter mentality…

I found this video recently of Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon professor who encompasses everything I mean when I say “Awaken The Fighter Mentality.”

The video is called “The Last Lecture” for 2 reasons.

1. He used to do this lecture on “life happiness” every year as it is anyways and it would be his last lecture.
2. He was recently diagnosed with cancer and told that he had 6 months to live, so unfortunately in it’s most literal sense, this IS his last lecture.

I was very excited to see his attitude, enthusiasm and it did nothing but motivate me (as well as saddened me a bit to see his situation). Yes, he is still alive today, you can follow his health and great enthusiasm at the following blog:

http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/news/

Watch this video and think, learn and grow. It’s about 75 minutes long, so shut your door, grab something to drink and enjoy!

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