What you learn today: Do you get uncomfortable with silence? Feel the need to talk to replace it? Do you get antsy when you don’t hear an answer? Here’s an exercise…

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Have you ever noticed how intimidating silence can be? Most of us innately feel the need to talk and fill in silence, what we don’t realize is that we’re showing too many of our cards when we talk too much.

The less you share many times, the more cards you have on your side…

This may sound vindictive, but it’s the truth. A big part of being a successful fighter is winning debates, negotiations and winning over people. Many times, the key here is to keep an upper-hand, know someone else’s “touch points” without revealing yours.

I’ve noticed that when I talk too much or am too aggressive, I end up being on the “needy” side of things and lose control over the “fight.”

Here’s an exercise I’ve been working on and I welcome you to join as well…(I encourage you to join):

PRACTICE SILENCE & PATIENCE

Let’s use an example…say you’ve just made an offer on a car and it’s been 10 hours and the sales guy has not called you back - FINE, DON’T CALL HIM!

The minute you all him, the message you’ve sent is that you’re desperate and have nothing better to sit around and think about. He gets the upper hand and your dealing power decreases.

OR, the next time you’re trying to get something your way - mention it and then DON’T defend it. Keep quiet, let the other person talk and talk, listen to them and gather your argument points.

When you DO talk, make it razor sharp and to the point.

Silence is golden (as they’ve said) - especially when you’re negotiating…

Popularity: 63% [?]

What you learn today: The best way to improve your listening skills almost immediately & it’s not really “active listening.”

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“Active listening” is not really “good” listening - it’s more like “regurgitation” of what someone says. Active listening says that you should re-cap what someone says after they say it.

Not only is that awkward and annoying in conversation, just repeating someone’s words does not mean you heard them.

A good listener understands the meaning behind those words, the implications and the entire scope of the message that is being delivered. A good listener doesn’t just LISTEN, but he/she watches for body movements, facial reactions and everything else.

You combine all your senses and create a full picture of what is being said - THAT is “good listening” - ironically, 50% of good listening has nothing to do with your ears.

Forget All This, Go Back To K.I.S.S - Keeping It Simple Stupid

Today, I’m not going to tell you that you should immediately start understanding people better just by watching and listening to them. This skill does not come over night, it’s far more complicated than you think.

My goal is to give you a SIMPLE tip that you can put into place immediately and start IMPROVING your listening skills (rather than solving them over night)…

The Best Way To Start Improving Your Listening Skills…

Start with this simple exercise and just work on this for an entire month. It may be simple, but it’s not easy.

Some background: By default, as humans we have an inclination to want to speak. We want to share our thoughts/feelings. Most of us are never “listening” to anyone, we’re busy getting our responses together.

Think about it, you’ll agree - observe yourself during your next conversation. I bet you spend at least 80% of the conversation making evaluations and gathering your thoughts for a response.

Simple But Not Easy Exercise - Start NOW…

Let someone finish.

That’s it, I know it sounds simple, but try it - it’ll almost hurt the first time.

Make it a point to not say a THING at all until the other party is completely finished. I mean COMPLETELY finished, not a “pause.” Heck, maybe even wait for them to say “so…why are you so quiet? what do you think about this!”

Try not to doze off during this period, but for now, even if you do - fine. The goal right now is that you should just stop interrupting and butting in. Get yourself to stop wanting to hear yourself talk.

There you go - your assignment today, every conversation you have - walk away from it having said the LEAST you can and NEVER interrupt anyone (even during a pause), let them finish.

Popularity: 66% [?]