Archive for the ‘Conflict Resolution’ Category

The Power of Honesty…

October 31st, 2008 | Conflict Resolution, Dealing With People, Overcome Obstacles, Personal Growth | 3 Comments | Written by Fighter

Belt of Truth I had planned to write a post today about the “power of honesty & truth” and one of our customers from PPC Classroom made a comment that is a great lead-in to my point…

Here’s what he said (right on this blog, here…):

“…I think you did great by boldly accepting that things did go wrong and offering huge bonuses. I can’t even imagine how freaky the situation might have been considering it was a mega launch and the expectations were high.”

Abhijeet was commenting on a post where I discussed a massive failure we had during the biggest product launch of the company’s history. It was a huge nuclear meltdown after months of work and THOUSANDS of people anticipating…

kaboomHere’s what happened…

We planned for a long time and had set to launch a product on Day X and Time Y. Everything was perfect. The pre-launch buzz was HUGE, people were running, stampeding and tripping over each other to get into the course.

We had TONS of promotional partners & an amazing product.

Now, in this industry, we’re used to seeing servers MELT the minute a product is launched. It’s happened to 80% of launches for years (no joke) - so you’d think we would learn, right?

Well, our company spent close to $12,000 preparing and getting a crazy server set-up.

Yet…the minute we launched - KA BOOM! it all exploded and eggs were thrown in our faces.

Now, instead of the biggest launch in history, we had…

-> Irrate customers
-> Support e-mails/calls flying in
-> UPSET promotional partners
-> Overloaded/Under-slept team members

You name it…we had it…

So we’re embarrassed, scared, shocked and darn right humiliated…what now?

Well, we chose to go down the route of HONESTY. Rather than make up some “gimmicky” message saying, “Oh, we’re so awesome, we had so much traffic, it all exploded” - no…that was not the truth. Yes, we had tons of traffic, but THAT’s not why we exploded.

We wanted to take the high ground.

We sucked it up and immediately apologized.

I made a video for the promotional partners, I let the customers know and we just worked on getting the system back up.

…When finally up - it was time to make it up to everyone.

Now, we sat down and thought “what can we do that will blow everyone away and really make them happy with us again…”

Yes, this was going to mean taking money OUT of OUR pockets - but you know what? WE screwed up and we needed to make it up to everyone who’s time was wasted.

So, we did it.

The end result?

Believe it or not, but we are actually MORE respected in the industry for it. Almost a “blessing in disguise” - I said ALMOST.

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Lesson of the day: Sometimes you need to turn the salesman off. Accept what happened, stick your tail between your legs and own up to it. Be HONEST.

You’ll be surprised how far honesty with others can take you. Most humans, by nature, are incredibly forgiving - all you have to do is ask for their forgiveness.

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Crawl Under Your Desk, It’s Pretty Cosey!

October 29th, 2008 | Conflict Resolution, Fighter Story, Overcome Obstacles | 3 Comments | Written by Fighter

Anik Under The DeskFor those of you wondering where the heck I’ve been the last month, there you go - I’ve been under my desk!

Of course I’m only kidding, I only spent a few hours there ;)

But it does bring up an interesting question - why was I down there to begin with?

Here’s what’s been going on the last couple of months…

We had an ENORMOUS product launch, the biggest in our company’s history and to say “we had some problems along the way” would be an understatement!

We launched a huge brand new eLearning system and well, it crashed. We also brought in over 6,200 customers so you can imagine - every time someone so much as “farted” inside the system, we got TONS of emails!

But, you know what? I have NO bad news to report - only good news.

I’ve Never Learned So Much About Myself & My Business…

This launch really was the moment of truth for us and a test to the will, power and “fighter mentality” for everyone on the team.

I learned a TREMENDOUS amount about my own fighter mentality and also that of those on our team.

I also have great lessons that came out of it - things I will share over the coming days with you right here on this blog.

We’ll start with the first lesson today…

It’s OK To Freak Out - Just Do It Fast…

Look, we’re all human and it’s only natural for us to “lose it” or get overwhelmed. Being a fighter does not mean you’re not allowed a moment of weakness.

Being a fighter means you can recollect yourself fast and snap out of it.

Let me give you a story I remembered while I was under my desk…

This Lesson Brought To You By a TV SHOW - “Lost”

Background of the show: A plane mysteriously crashes on an island. Lots of people die but lots also survive. The island is weird and lots of unexplainable things are happening - people are still dying; everyone is scared out of their minds.

As in all crisis moments in life, a leader rises to the occasion. His name is “Jack” and he’s a spinal surgeon back in the ‘real world.’

He gathers everyone and starts to provide structure.

During the first season, something horribly horrifying is happening that they don’t understand and he needs to take a moment to calm down his “right-hand man” - who happens to be a woman (Kate).

She’s on the verge of a breakdown and asks him how he is keeping his cool.

Here’s what he says (I’m paraphrasing, I don’t remember exactly what he said):

“I was once in a surgery, life-threatening surgery, one small mistake and the patient would be dead and it would be MY fault. Well, it was one of my first surgeries and it was a very serious case…

I’m in the process of the surgery and I did something wrong, something terribly wrong - I had the patients entire back open and all her spinal nerves exposed.

Whatever I did caused ALL of her spinal nerves to pour out of her like spaghetti - I had basically sentenced this woman to death - holy sh** what had I just done?

Panic came over me, I freaked out and I filled with fear…here’s what I did:

(Pay attention to this part - it changed the way I handle crisis moments…)

I told myself ‘Jack, it’s OK to be afraid…here’s what we’ll do - go ahead and freak out, go nuts, lose your mind, fill yourself with fear - but do it for FIVE seconds. That’s it.’

Jack goes on to say: ‘I counted down from 5 to 1 and I let fear overtake me, but the instant my 5 seconds were over, I cleared my mind, got rid of the fear and FOCUSED. I fixed the problem and the woman survived and is living a healthy life.’

So what’s the moral of that long paraphrasing?

It’s OK To Be Afraid - Just Get Over It Fast!

Look, the launch that went sour this past month for us, the results could have been catastrophic - my name/reputation/team - everything I spent 4 years building could have been gone in the snap of a finger.

Scary eh?

And, yes, I WAS afraid. But, when I was under that desk - I told myself:

“Your team, your business, your customers - they need you right now, people are counting on you. It’s OK that you’re afraid, just let it overtake you for a minute or so - don’t fight the fear, let it come…

BUT, after that, shut up, sit up and get it done!”

What was the result?

The result was a record-breaking launch not only for the company but for our entire industry.

I’m actually being PRAISED and RESPECTED for the way we handled the aftermath - it’s freaky but it’s almost like it HELPED us. That, my friends, is called making lemonade out of lemon!

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The moral of the story is to NOT fight back against fear - let it come, accept it, acknowledge it, even let it overtake you. BUT, always control it.

YOU tell it when it can come in and YOU tell it when it has to leave. Let it come in for just a bit, then kick it out, re-focus and bring the fighter back out to solve the crisis.

Till next time…

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** This post has been dedicated to 2 Indians who actually got Tshirts printed with this blog on them! hahaha…

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What a Crappy Day! But I Learned Something…

August 15th, 2008 | Conflict Resolution, Frustration | No Comments | Written by Fighter

Don't scream, be niceSo, I was scheduled to fly out today (out of the country). I had my flight leaving Washington, Dulles Airport at 5:05 PM and running a connection through New York (JFK).

It hit 5 PM and they announced that our plane had not even left it’s other destination yet, but that it would come (don’t worry everyone).

Then, at 6 PM, they suddenly just canceled the flight! My connecting flight was at 8:55 PM and this left me little room to do anything.

All the passengers got in the herendous line to get help from the rediculously mean women at the counter. I had two options:

1. Follow suit and get in line and pray for the best.

2. Take things into my own hands and CALL Delta.

I did the latter and although it took me a good 30 minutes on the phone, we came to an agreeable alternate solution (which has me leaving tomorrow). However, there were many times that the call tested my patience. As nice as the woman was on the phone, some of her rediculously imposed red-tape was seriously starting to pi** me off!

“But I Kept My Cool…I Kept On Smiling…”

I almost lost my cool, but I made a conscious decision not to. I was watching what was happening down the line from people who were flaring their arms around and acting like monkeys.

They were getting the same rudness in return and ended up with results they were not happy with.

I, however, kept asking the attendent on the phone to place herself in my shoes and to be fair. The more I talked to her as a PERSON and REASONED, the further I got to getting a desirable result!

In the end, I got a great outcome and was very happy with it.

Then It Happened Again!

As I got home, I had to call the hotel and change my reservation and I already knew that they were going to try to charge me the day because I was within 24 hours. However, IT WASN’T MY FAULT!

Plus, I had extended my stay by one more day, so they were still going to get the same number of nights from me. When I called, the initial reaction was the same “no sir, we have to charge.”

I immediately asked for the supervisor (very nicely) and I made my case. However, STILL they didn’t listen!

Again, about to lose my cool to people who are being unreasonable, but then I remembered…

I realized that I could just call the corporate office and reason with them given my high points with them. So, that’s what I did. The representative was GREAT. She immediately called the hotel on my behalf and argued my case.

Eventually, the entire matter got handled and I have to pay nothing.

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Here’s what I learned…

I’ve watched my own father handle these situations and he’s a firm believer in “ATTACK hard and you get your way…” - Many times I’ve felt that he’s too fast to yell, shout and throw around threats, I’m starting to think that I may be right.

Given that I run my own business, lately I’ve actually been LESS likely to help someone if they call kicking and screaming then someone who calls reasoning with me on logic and nicely asking for HELP.

My Advice To You Is This - Don’t be that guy in line who was flaring his arms around and shouting - it won’t get you what you want. Take a deep breath, nicely ask for help and reason by asking the other person to place themselves in your shoes (while also placing YOURSELF in their shoes so they know it’s a two way street).

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The Outline I Used To Resolve a Conflict…

June 20th, 2008 | Conflict Resolution, Personal Growth | No Comments | Written by Fighter

What you learn today: The structure to follow to peacefully and powerfully resolve a conflict.

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Yesterday I got a call from someone who works with me letting me know that I was going to have to step in as an “authority” on a call to help resolve a disagreement that was fast turning ugly. Here’s what the problem was for me, on a personal level, I’m friends with everyone involved.

Either side I take, I risk fighting with those I respect and like.

However, at the same time, I felt strongly about one side (professionally) and had no choice but to “take a side” and represent it.

For hours I thought about how to proceed so as to have the best consequence and my mind kept running through scenarios that all resulted in a big blow up - needless to say I was a bit nervous and apprehensive.

However, I realized one thing: A leader needs to be able to peacefully resolve conflicts, a leader needs to make sure all voices are heard, but also a leader needs to be able to stand strong and make a decision (even if everyone does not like it).

An indecisive leader is not only ineffective but will never have anyone’s respect.

Resorting To “Active Listening” - My Version of It…

I made a decision to handle the call in the following format:

1. Start by saying that I was there to hear all sides.
2. Summarize the concerns as “I” know them and ask the other party to confirm.
3. Ask the other party to spend some time to voice details of their concern.
4. Summarize what I heard.
5. State my side (without being combative or pointing fingers) - I would make it very clear that I was speaking my mind openly and meant no disrespect.
6. Give time for rebuttal or further concerns.
7. Explain my position one last time.
8. State how I would be moving forward.
9. Thank everyone for their time.

–> Through this entire call, I was very good about consistently reminding all parties that this was a PROFESSIONAL disagreement and was NOT personal and so nothing said should be taken personally.

I think it’s easier said than done, but the end result was fairly impressive and although we didn’t walk away “loving” each other, I do think it was fairly cordial and we’ll all get over it soon enough and that it was for the best in the long-run.

Did I Follow My Outline During The ACTUAL Call?

With the exception of a few distractions, I was very shocked that I really DID follow the outline above and it worked amazingly.

The best part about the outline above is that it makes the opposing party feel that you really ARE hearing them and are trying to work with them. However, at the same time, the outline above allows YOU to take and stay in control of the dispute and the eventual resolution.

I highly recommend that you study the outline above and implement it into ALL conflict resolutions.

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